By Mommy

It seems only fitting that I should start this with A Perfect Day.  But honestly, any day we spend with Rowan falls into that category.

But first a confession – I took yesterday as a sick day since Rowan has hit that everything-makes-me-giggle stage, and I didn’t want to miss any of it.  The day started as normal, with the nanny getting all of Rowan’s attention as soon as she walked in the door.  Mitch made his farewells and, unlike most days, I hit the shower only after he left.  When I came out, Rowan’s attention was completely on me, big cherubic smiles and all.  As long as the nanny is there, she always commands his full attention, even when I come home from work.  It was as if Rowan somehow already knew that this day would be different.  A mother’s wishful thinking I’m sure, but I’m sticking with it.

Since Rowan’s routine involves a nap right after breakfast, I left him with the nanny and headed to B&N for my beloved coffee and magazine hour.  Beethoven’s N0 5 was playing on the speaker, so of course I had to pick up a copy for Rowan (classical music on sale at 40% off through Oct!).  And a pair of bananas for Rowan to try after the ill-fated attempt at squash last weekend.

He was happily awake and fed by the time I got home, but we decided to try the banana anyway.  I mushed an inch or so and tried giving him a small bit.  Oh my god, the face he made!  I cracked up laughing as the mush oozed out of his mouth.  Then a second spoonful with the same expression and output.  At the third mouthful he just put his hand across his face in such a dramatic way that both the nanny and I burst out laughing.  But we stopped trying at that.  I don’t think he objected to the flavor, but the slimy texture wasn’t something he could figure out how to swallow.

I gave the nanny the rest of the day off, packed Rowan in the front-carrier, loaded the stroller with hand me downs, and headed to Rockefeller University for lunch with Susanna.  It was a 1.5 mile walk but surprisingly easy with the carrier.  Susanna is due in 4 weeks and, like I was, pregnant only in profile.  The cafeteria cashiers all came over to flirt with Rowan, and even the young guy at the table next to ours was interacting with him.  This really is the fun stage with him.  It’s so easy to make him smile, and so meltingly rewarding.

After lunch, Rowan settled into the stroller for a nap while we headed down to Gymboree.  It was my first time going with him on a weekday, and the instructor was different from the one we usually see.  She commented several times that Rowan kept the tummy time much longer than he did ever before (his least favorite exercise), and it may have been due to having a parent with him.

After class I took the Gymbo puppet and swished it over Rowan’s head and all over the place, making silly noises and keeping his attention for at least five minutes.  Even little 3 month old Evan next to him followed Gymbo.  Then Zoe brought her 5 month old Gracie over to Rowan to chat.  Gracie was born with a hormone deficiency that makes it nearly impossible for her to process salt, so she is tiny tiny, with a large forehead.  But developmentally she is all there, sitting up and trying to stand, very alert and reaching out to touch Rowan, who would stare down at his feet or munch on his fingers.  Rowan looked like a giant next to her, but they were obviously very curious about each other.

After Gymboree, we headed home for another attempt at the banana.  This time I added some water and rice cereal to make the texture more palatable.  And Rowan, bless his patient little heart, ate the whole thing and waited for each mouthful to come his way.  It was only when I needed to adjust him midway and put down the cereal out of his line of sight that he cried out in protest.  He wasn’t attacking the spoon like he does with plain rice, but seemed to actually be experiencing what this new substance was.

Then formula and off to the crib for a nap.

I was surprised when Rowan started crying in less than an hour, but I made the mistake of picking him up and bringing him into the living room.  In hindsight I think he just had a bad dream and would have fallen back asleep.  But now he was awake and unhappy and seemingly already hungry.  So two more ounces of formula and he’s still not happy.  So we get up and look out the window, which is enough to make him forget he was grumpy.

Then it was time for more of the dreaded tummy time.  But this time I tried a different tactic.  He was sitting up on the mat and I took out his blue lizard, which I let him play with for a few seconds before putting him tummy down.  The lizard would slowly whiz around about 8 inches from the ground, forcing him to push himself up to see it.  He managed to follow it for a minute or so before flopping down, thumb in mouth for comfort.  So I put the lizard down just out of his reach, and after staring at it for a bit, he reached out and moved himself just enough to grab it.

So of course I moved it again.  Thumb back in mouth, this time with a look of defeat.  Then I tried something else new.  After the thumb had sufficiently removed the stress of being on his tummy, I gave him three smooches on his exposed left cheek.  I can’t describe the look that came over his face; it wasn’t exactly a smile, but he literally lit up.  And he pushed himself up for a few seconds before plopping back down, thumb in mouth.  Wait a few seconds, three more smooches, light up, push up again.  We did this several times, and each time he went higher or tried a different push, and at one point pushed so heavily on one elbow that he came close to turning over!

I’m very huggy squeezy with Rowan, but not much of a kisser, especially after several people mistook my lipstick on his face to be bruises.  But now I realize the importance of kisses.  I took to ‘kissing’ him with my hair, which makes him close his eyes and put on an angelic smile, but I assumed it was just the tickling sensation of the hair.  There is apparently more to real kisses than I ever thought.  A comfort or trust or something else, I don’t know.  But the change it brings about is real and obvious.

So after all that strenuous work we relaxed with a few familiar songs and then read our five tigers book.  Unlike previous reading times, he didn’t try to eat the pages but rather looked long and hard at the pictures and kept experimenting with its different sized pages.  This wasn’t the same baby we put to bed two nights ago.

Then after some more games and songs, he was starting to poop out, so off to the bath and crib for our usual “once upon a time” routine while I got him in his jammies.  Usually he listens for a few seconds then looks around and thrashes about.  But this time he was intently looking at me the entire time, as if he knew that the sounds coming out of my mouth were somehow important and he should be paying attention.

I walked out and thought he must have fallen asleep right away because he didn’t make a peep.  So I checked on him 10 minutes later, and he looks at me and smiles.  He had been very quietly laying there, just chilling.  So I backed out and let him be.

Twenty minutes later, I went to return his laundry basket to his room, and he was facing the back of the crib in his usual sleeping position.  As soon as I walked in, he turned his head, gave me a big grin, and bounced his legs up and down.  Our very patient son was calmly waiting for sleep to come and not bothering us one bit.  But I felt a little bad that he might be bored so I put his mobile on its gentlest music and left him alone.  He did fall asleep by the time I walked in a few minutes later.

Mitch and I can’t stress it enough, we have an incredibly easy baby, and we are genuinely grateful for that.  Some people ‘joke’ that we don’t deserve it, and although I believe all of this is at least 90% luck, Mitch and I made a concerted effort to keep the pregnancy as stress-free as possible, and our home as peaceful as we could manage.  Which was actually quite easy since we hardly ever argue, and even on the things where we disagree, there’s always an implicit understanding that those things aren’t worth bickering about.

Rowan came into this world planned and wanted.  He’s always been safe and comfortable with his caretakers, from his nanny to his parents, and their friends and his grandparents.  He’s never been the object of annoyance or put in line behind a tv show, video game, or attention to someone else.  I think he’s starting to understand that, which may be why he can play by himself, put himself to sleep, calm himself down, or just lie awake in his crib.  He knows someone is there, just a cry away, if he needs them at all.  Is this spoiling him?  Perhaps.  But there will be plenty of times in his life where is ignored, put aside, or put down.  Why should we be the first ones to make him feel that way.

His gentle demeanor probably won’t last, so we will enjoy it while we can.  This is the high point of both our lives.  We don’t want to miss a moment of any Perfect Day.